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My mind is always thinking worrying anticipating regretting. As someone with bipolar disorder I live in a constant state of mental angst. The only time my brain turns off is when I am involved in the artistic process. Thinking of what to paint. Looking carefully at the world around me. Making decisions about what and how to paint whatever. Then painting. The process of creating. sometimes as simple as filling in the dots and the open spaces. Sometimes it's challenging to know where to begin. I have spent years too sick to paint. I have spent years in incredible productivity. But when I begin painting again I feel the deep immersion of consciousness in color and form. And when I'm painting a tension develops between creativity and productivity. And for that time my mind is at peace. Now I am dealing with a parkinsonian tremor. It could be Parkinson's disease or a side effect from one of my psychiatric medications. In any case it makes it difficult to draw a straight line and it's getting worse. My time painting may end sooner than later. So I try to paint daily,